Today's existential crisis


Usually when I start into a train of thouhht like this, I start to worry I'm going to blow a blood vessel in my brain because it just starts to feel like feedback. What follows is a chat session I had after my lunch break today. I figure a transcript is as good as re-writing it.

 
me: What a great lunch-walk.

Nat: Where did you go?

me: Just through Trinity Square, to the bank and back.

I overheard some middleschoolers discussing ESP and karma and then I had my own existential crisis and now I can't stop smiling.

Nat: Tell me about your existential crisis! I feel like it could make my day (Not the crisis aspect.)

me:  Well there were three middleschoolers, girls walking behind me chattering away.

As we passed a psychic reading place, one iof them asked "Do you believe in ESP?" and the other two responded "yeah" without hesitation.

Then before the end of the block one of them said "Karma!" about something I don't remember.

And I thought it was funny being at the age where you just believe those things because... I guess you want to, or you don't question things or whatever.

Then I thought about my own list of things like that I would create in order of descending believeability, putting ESP above Karma

And then I thought about where God would go on that list, the very top or the very bottom

Because if you put God in there then you must credit God with the creation of teh universe, which I don't

So if you eliminate that, then there's just the universe's natural existence

But why does the universe exist?

And why does anything exist at all?

Like, why is there... anything?

There could literally be nothing anywhere at all on any plane of existence.

In any dimension.

At all.

Why is there stuff?

But

There IS stuff.

There are quarks and atoms and waves of energy and as a result there are these three middle school girls, on a School day, at 1 pm, with a skate board and rollerblades in downtown Toronto having some little personal adventure

Or just a ditch day

And I get to wear a polyester sweater and use the internet.

And go outside and the wind blows in my face.

And that's pretty sweet.

Nat: Exeunt.